Lyrics of the Songs on the Big Al Whittle Album

St Peter and John Dillinger

TITLES

1)     St Peter and John Dillinger

2)     George Joseph Smith

3)     Haiku Song

4)     Trish

5)     Grammar School Puppy Dog

6)     The Big red Sausage

7)     The Owl Song

8)     I love it when you sing the blues

9)     Telephone Song

10) If You Love Somebody

11) Well Done Liz

12) The Box of Music

13) There is a land called America

14) Swimming Pool

15) Dink Tribute

16) Ciderhead Blues

These are the songs which I wrote and felt I had the right to reproduce the lyrics.  Also on the album is Down and Out Blues -  song whose authorship seems to be the subject of dispute.  The Apartment Song by Roger Brooks and a medley of Winding Boy (written by Jelly Roll Morton) and Pretty Baby (written by Tony Jackson).

St Peter and John Dillinger

Spoken Preamble:

 It was a hot July night, 1934.....

When the gates of Paradise suddenly flung open,

And there..... standing before his maker,

Was  the famous American bank robber and outlaw....... Jo-ohn  Dillinger.

Only a few minutes before

 John Dillinger had been walking down a Chicago

 alleyway.

Down off Lincoln Avenue

When he had been ambushed

 Shot to death by Federal agents

Now from his poor broken body  -

Rose  the immortal soul of John Herbert Dillinger

Transfigured and radiant,

Clothed in heavenly rainment,

But still carrying a tommy gun  -  

And  looking like-a one mean dude.....

Hoosier? asked St Peter

John Dillinger said, that’s me

I’m from Mooresville, Indiana

In the land of the brave and free

Old Man, look down from these lofty clouds

To shy town, Illinois

You’ll see ‘kerchiefs dipped in my life blood

Such a blessed man was I

Hoosier? asked St Peter

Dillinger said, it’s what you heard me say

I’m from Mooresville, Indiana

In the good old US of A

And if you kneel down for forgiveness

 I might forgive you all God’s sins

All those years in America

When the working man couldn’t win

St Peter said, You tryin’ to pull somethin’ Johnnie Dillinger,

pretendin’ that you’re some kind of saint

You know it takes one of those to know one,

cos I’m one and you sure ain’t

Well hold it, said Johnnie I was surrounded by enemies like our Lord,

Oh shot down and left to die,

By J Edgar Hoover’s dirty dogs, the men they call the FBI

Well  time don’t mean a deal round here Johnny, said  St Peter,

Fact is, J Edgar Hoovers already here

 I gave a him a job. just yesterday, as an angel - look! he’s dancing on a cloud over there.

Seeing as  you know him so well...... you could be a sort of double act, right?

Two Johns dancing on a cloud together,  just spreading pure sweetness and light

Yeh,dancing on a cloud with J Edgar Hoover, jest spreading pure sweetness and light

You made J Edgar Hoover an angel, now you shoulda  seen John Dillinger’s

dis-tress

St Peter said, hey man...you know I couldn’t stop him.....!

Got real excited when he was tryin’ on the dress

Round here you’d be like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers, put on a te-rrific show

You’ll have an eternity to practice.... that’s when Dillinger thundered No!

He said, Hey!

I’m Dillinger the Bank Robber, and I don’t like to brag

But its not my idea of heaven, up on a cloud with some old fag

And you can’t make me, but St Peter said, I think you’ll find I can

And who said anything about heaven for you, you naughty naughty man.

So brothers and sisters now listen and pay the good book mind

Damnation comes in lots of ways, and shapes and forms and kinds

Don’t rob banks, or fire tommy guns from the running board of a car

Or you could end up like Poor Johnny Dillinger dancing with your bête noire

Hoosier? asked St Peter

John Dillinger said, that’s me

I’m from Mooresville, Indiana

In the land of the brave and free

But if you look down from these lofty clouds

To shy town, Illinois

You’ll see ‘kerchiefs dipped in my life blood

Such a blessed man was I

© Alan Whittle 12/02/2005 18:10:52

George Joseph Smith

Well my name is George Joseph Smith

And i’m the bloke for you to take up with

Oh yes i will make you me wife

As soon as I’ve insured your life

Then I’ll drown you in the bath

Drown you in the bath

Drown you in the bath

Cos I’m a psychopath

Now some people think I’m not the norm

Cos I like filling in insurance forms

It isn’t that I like to kill

But filling in forms gives me a thrill

Then I drown ‘em in the bath

Drown ‘em in the bath

Drown ‘em in the bath

Cos I’m a psychopath

Now the most moving thing wot I ever heard

Was my good lady wife’s dyin’ words

As I yanked her into the tub

She softly murmured, “Glub, glub, glub, glub.....”

Yeh I drowned her in the bath

Drowned her in the bath

Drowned her in the bath

Cos I’m a psychopath

So in my prison cell I sit

Well and truly in the......deepest trouble imaginable

But before I go to meet my end

I still think I could recommend!

Drowning in the bath

Drowning in the bath

Drowning in the bath

If you’re a psychopath

Haiku Song

Oh my love the snow is falling

And its Winter in my heart

We spent so much of time together

I hardly knew we were apart

Oh my my love the snow is falling

Not a bird up in the sky

All creatures look for warmth and comfort

So don’t be shamed and don’t you cry

One day soon it will be springtime

The trees will toss their leaves with pride

And you’ll be walking in the sunshine

With a new love at your side

Oh my love the snow is falling

And its Winter in my heart

We spent so much of time together

I hardly knew we were apart

I hardly felt we were apart

Trish

I used to fancy a girl name Trish

She had long brown hair she was quite a dish

I was hypnotised by her big blue eyes

And her little mini-skirt that went swish-swish-swish

Trish Trish, she was a communist

I was an anarcho/syndicalist/ marxist/lenninist

Trish Trish,  she liked Chairman Mao

But I could not get keen somehow

I said Trish - we can sort this out dialectically

Even tho you find me repulsive sexually

I got a little red book and a chinese hat

She said don’t bother al, you still look a twat

Still I fancied that  girl named  Trish

With her long brown hair she was quite a dish

I was hypnotised by her big blue eyes, her  creamy white thighs

And a little mini-skirt goin’ -  swish-swish-swish

Some men dream to enslave the world

Some are enslaved by the love of  a girl

Stalin and Mao trish and me

Keats and fanny, La Belle Dame sans merci

 (lead break)

Trish I hope you found a niche

With a  house and a car and a satellite dish

Deep in in my heart the Internationale is still played

And we are storming the barricades

I fancied a  girl named  Trish

With her long brown hair she was quite a dish

I was hypnotised by her big blue eyes

And her little mini-skirt that went swish-swish-swish

The Grammar School Puppy Dog

Somehow they could work it out, back in 1954

Some kids must have talked more posh, or perhaps the clothes they wore

But some were A class pupils, and some went in class B

And that’s how it was the day we met, my best mate and me

We were drawing pictures of our Mums, threading beads and chalking slates

The big girls said are you alright ducky? and the big boys called you mate

We always sat together, from five til I was ten

We’d get split up for acting daft,  but we’d sneak back together again

The games we played , the way we laughed, and all those things we did

Before I was a grammar school puppy dog, and he was a Kitwood kid

We rode the ranges of the allotments, grazed our knees on every path

Fished at Cowbridge and Antons Gowt - the most fearless frogmen down the baths

We were Cisco Kid and Pancho, always the best of friends

Our little bikes were trusty mounts, at hometime and weekends

We splashed down paint, sang the hymns, wrote stories and did sums

But there came a day we had to part, when we were still the best of chums

Two taps fill a bath, one is  tap A and one tap B.

One is warm and one is cold, that was him, and that was me.

The games we played , the way we laughed, and all those things we did

Before I was a grammar school puppy dog, and he was a Kitwood kid

The last time I saw Philip, we were downtown on the bus,

We were both twenty, I was glad to see him, but I couldn’t make a fuss

I was ashamed of my unhappiness, the sad days my life had seen

I was off at college, while he’d worked since sixteen

But if Pooh and Piglets are still playing  in  the 100 acre wood

If all  enchanted things remain, and I believe they should

then two mates are out today - off on a sunny bike ride

In a Lincolnshire town where the sky is big, down by the Witham side

The games we played , the way we laughed, and all those things we did

Before I was a grammar school puppy dog, and he was a Kitwood kid

hey grammar school puppy dog, high school cats,

 when you see the Kitwood kids, raise your hats

hey grammar school puppy dog, high school cats,

 when you see the Kitwood kids, raise your hats

©alan whittle2004-08-11

The Big Red Sausage

When they caught sight of his big red sausage, all the ladies said, “Yes please!”

Cos it weren’t all floppy like an English banger

And he’d even let you give it a squeeze

If you asked for a bite

He’d say “All righta!

My poloney, it aims to pleesa!

No

He wouldn’t quibble, he’d let you  have a nibble

With a little bit of Parmesan cheese

One day on his bike, came Italian Mike

Riding over the hill

Said to Farmer Brown, “Let me work in your fields

Cos I can work with a will”

Some people say, he stooped to pick up some

when summat fell out of his comb’s

And the milkmaid said, “ If that’s the branch

I wouldn’t mind seeing his plums!”

He were riding home, that night to Rome

And the milkmaid, she went with `im

She was sat on his crossbar, he was pedalling away

With a friendly sort of pedalling rhthym

She said to him “I can feel you like me!”

And she thought, “He’s a bit of a card”

He said, “Signorita, get your choppers round this!”

And he whipped out half a yard

Now when the people got hear of Mike’s poloney

Well it come as a bit of a shock

And the folks all came from miles around

Hoping for a glimpse of his big red sausage

All of the fellers got insecure, and they said,

“You can bugger off quick”

But I think I can say, without contradiction

That mine is just as thick

Owl Song

There is an ancient magic, the owl said to me

she flew into my headlight’s beam , saying listen carefully

We that take the midnight hours, we travel joylessly

And I, a talonned predator - I don’t need to see,

The heart that sits inside of you, I feel its muffled beat

Listen to the music of your heart,  are you wedded to defeat

I know you sang  to rabble all night long,

alien words, in   a subject  tongue

I’m flying now in your slipstream, and I can speak the  magic rune

From the walls of my temple, mix it with your trashy tune

On such a night when the stars are restless

Its written on  a sky of midnight blue

Its like an old time magic show

The magician casts his spell and says lo!

Lo and behold

All the floors of heaven are lined with gold

Long after midnight, travellin’ east out of Manchester

First the closed up towns,  and then the lonely hills

the road it twists and turns, and turns and twists before me,

Like a lifetime of sadness that never bending to my will

Her  finger - a  ring encloses, so does her breast enfold my heart

I sing to the darkness sentimental songs,

Songs that say we will never part

I felt  the Talonned owl falling from the sky, to a valley spread below

Joe Cocker was singing “Bird on a Wire”

I snapped off the radio

On such a night when the stars are restless

Its written on  a sky of midnight blue

Its like an old time magic show

The magician casts his spell and says lo!

Lo and behold

All the floors of heaven are lined with gold

I Love it When You Sing the Blues

I love it when you sing the blues

I love it when you sing the blues

I feel like putting on my dancing shoes

Cos I love it when you sing the blues

Get down you slide and your old guitar

It’s the nicest music I know by far

Sing about a sugar babe from long ago

Theres so many songs that you know

Cos I love it when you sing the blues

I love it when you sing the blues

I feel like putting on my dancing shoes

Cos I love it when you sing the blues

Something so true bout an old time song

The girl was pretty but the love went wrong

Play a little rythm an you lay down the bass

And you’re hearing her voice and seeing her face

And  I love it when you sing the blues

I love it when you sing the blues

I feel like putting on my dancing shoes

Cos I love it when you sing the blues

One day I be walking down by the sea

Walking with me feet in the sand

I think about you, humming a tune

And that’s gonna make me feel grand

I love it when you sing the blues

I love it when you sing the blues

I feel like putting on my dancing shoes

Cos I love it when you sing the blues

The Telephone Song

Oh I want to see you  happy, oh I wanna see you smile

But the telephone keeps ringing  - its him all the while

When we come home from the movie you were  on the phone again

And I know its him you’re talkin’ to – fixing up just where and when

Yes sir!

Oh get down my bottle from the shelf – I know I just can’t win

My heart is like my whisky glass – its filled up to the brim

So many years together I’d thought we’d never part

But that telephone is wringing all the love from out my heart

She comes in from the phone call, and she’s happy with her life

You see he really makes her smile - just like he does his wife

she says honey when you’re workin’ tomorrow, just stay out two more hours

The Lynchburg special takes me place, beyond her hurting powers

I spend an hour in the grocery, another in a mall

I sit there drinking coffee, try to make sense of it all

And I come back to our home,  think of all the love that I’m bringing,

And she’s there smiling back at me, but then that telephone starts ringing

Oh I want to see you  happy, oh I wanna see you smile

But the telephone keeps ringing - its him all the while

Ó2003 Alan Whittle

Well if you love somebody

Well if you love somebody, you must give her everything

every note that your fingers play.

every song that you sing

Even if the lady tells you, that you’re not the only one

She is in your heart  like the wind in the trees

She is still your number one

If you’re a millionaire

Or its love on the dole

Money cannot buy you a starring role

The world’s sad and weary

Below and above

Only  lucky people get to fall in love

Well Done Liz!

Well Done Liz!

You’re the Queen that’s what you is!

Lets have and on orgy

You can bring the corgi

I’m sure you’d win any election

You’ve got four kids

What a selection!

(Love the aristocracy!)

You’re the champ

That’s your head on all the stamps

And that’s your head on my last penny

I bet you’ve a quid or two – ooh not many! !

My favourite member of the House of Windsor is Barbra – she’s a laugh

She’s done very well – she’s on East Enders

Could you get me her autograph!

Well Done Liz!

You’re the Queen that’s what you is!

Ooh my gosh! You’re ever so posh

Well Done Liz!

Wearing a crown, I bet it gets you down

No wonder you look glum

Fifty years sitting on the throne

I bet thats hard on the ee by gum!

Well Done Liz!

You’re the Queen that’s what you is!

Not just some arsehole – you live in a castle!

Well done Liz!

The Box of Music

They told me play in the sun

Go out and have fun

But your life is for real, boy

There’s work to be done

And you best understand

That the fate of a man

Is in front of your eyes – you can’t refuse it

So I’d run away from the light of the day

And I’d sit alone, and I’d sit and play

For I had this box of music

Strumming on this box of music

I was no more than a kid

When I taught myself

The chords that would bind me

And thus by great stealth

I hid in the places

I found empty spaces

Where dreamers can dream if they choose it

I was running away from the light of the day

And I’d sit alone, and I’d sit and play

Opening this box of music

Yeh strumming on this box of music

There I was walking on oceans

Drunk on the notion

I would transcend the stars with en-ough devotion

To the frets and the strings, making them bring

Forth a song of love, not excuses

Thats called running away from the light of the day

As I’d sit alone, and I’d sit and play

For I had this box of music

I was opening the box of music

Opening the box of music

Taking out the all notes and making them shine

Opening the box of music

They all seemed like good friends of mine

So the fingers get strong

You don’t play the thing wrong

You don’t even notice,

You practice so long

Be the world ‘ere so wide

That small place inside

Is always the same, cos you choose it

You’re running away  from the light of the day

Just to sit alone, alone while you play

At strumming on this box of music

When you have the box of music

Perhaps I didn’t have the right,

And I lacked the foresight

Turning away from the truth and the light

All the good that I done

It was all done for one

I’m sure most of my work

You’d abuse it

So  I’m sneakin’ away from the light of the day

And I’ll sit alone, and I’ll sit and play

For I have the box of music

I have the box of music

Yeh I’m sneakin’ away from the light of the day

And I’ll sit alone, and I’ll sit and play

For I have the box of music

I have the box of music

There is a land called America

I had travelled much that day, and still had  miles to go

So I was weary and I sat me down in a place I did not know

The young man on my right was sayin’, I better be moving along

The world  sure needs my help today , to stop it turning wrong

I could see he was a soldier of the great United States

And I bade him stay, but he said , No sir! for I must achieve

Some things that will not wait

Oh there is a land  called America

Where Freedoms bell rings  clear

And no good man needs to walk that land,  with the downcast heart of fear

And since in that land of America, the hope of freedom first appeared

The joyous peal of the liberty bell

Is a  sound all folks hold  dear.

Yes there is a land called America

Though I can’t be there today

It’s there my friends and family live

With humble hearts and decent ways

And while I live and while I breathe

And hold a rifle, this much is clear

Those who would hurt my people

They will live their lives in fear of me

And I wished that young man well and safe

For I knew he had to go

To face difficulty and danger

On a faroff foreign shore

But I felt such admiration for a heart so young and bold

So resolute for the stars and stripes and these truths that we hold

For we hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness

Oh there is a land  called America

Where Freedoms bell rings  clear

And no good man needs to walk that land,  with the downcast heart of fear

And since in that land of America, the hope of freedom first appeared

The joyous peal of the liberty bell

Is a  sound all folks hold  dear.

©Alan Whittle 02/11/2004 11:12:46

Swimming Pool

Well she was, the prettiest girl at the the swimming pool

I was just a punk, in swimming trunks

I still went to school

She used to sunbathe on a towel, and smoke tipped cigarettes

She was an old fouteen

A rock and roll queen

And I was just a nine year old pest

Well it seems like it only was yesterday

I was a young kid just making my way

The stink of chlorine was in my hair

But I was in love so I didn’t care

She used to hang out with older kids crowd

They’d jump off the springboard and belch very loud

But I knew in my heart she was more refined

But our love couldn’t be, co I was just nine

The old swimming baths has long been knocked down

Like evrything else in that part of the town

They chopped down the woods where the boys always took her

And I gave romance when I caught her verucca

Tribute to Dink

Seems like all my lifetime long

I sang your sad and pretty song

Of days  you lived in tent town

on  the side of the Brazos River

Nineteen hundred and eight, you were washing the clothes

Of the working men who would come and go

you sang about love, and how you hurt

Of living hard and being treated like dirt

Down by that levee, 

The blows were many and your work was heavy

some man would pass by with a bottle of gin

Often as not you would let him in

But tonight I’ll hold your

song to my heart

You’ll step out one proud lady

all that remains of us is love, I’m thinkin’

and tonight Dink, it’s your love song we’re singing

Tonight we can almost touch your hand with our hearts

Down through all the years

With the words of a song that you wrote with your tears

So its down the road - a wanderin’ minstrel I

The days and the miles and the songs drift by

A pocketful of bills is all I’m worth

Pickin’ a guitar is for the dumb of the earth

Words and music written by Alan Whittle Ó2002